The joys and throes of Godly parenting
No one only tells you how hard it's going to be. No one only says how beautiful it's going to be. The pendulum swings from a negative stance—"Just wait until they're teenagers," or, "Oh, you're in the terrible twos"—to a more positive state of denial: "Oh, it's wonderful. My kids are always perfect, and motherhood is bliss."
But I've learned there's a tension—not between positivity and negativity, but between the Kingdom and reality. Reality says, "This is so hard, and I don't know what to do here." The Kingdom of God says, "Yes, it is hard, and it's okay if you don't know what you're doing, because God does." It is in this hard place that we are faced with a choice as believers: to seek the Kingdom of God above all else (Matthew 6:33).
Think of it this way: If God made the heavens and the earth, and He sent His Son to die on the cross for your sins, don't you think He cares about everything else? (Romans 8:32) Including instructing you on how to raise your kids? I'm not saying this is easy—laying down your flesh to lean into the Father's heart and ask Him a simple question: "What should I do here?" What I am saying is that it is possible. If you are a believer, have received salvation for your sins, and have been filled with the Holy Spirit, then the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. The door has been opened for you to overcome your sinful nature and listen to Jesus. It is possible. It is what Jesus paid for—that He would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters (Romans 8:29). As a child of God, you can come freely and boldly to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16).
One day, my son was screaming and throwing himself into a fit. He tried to swat at me, so I hugged him, carried him upstairs, and kept saying, "I love you, I love you," over and over again. But when his fit first started, I leaned in and asked God to help me. I heard God say, "Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). I knew in that moment that my job was to let Elijah know I loved him while also helping him to his room for a timeout and a conversation about the disrespect. I don't always get it right. None of us will. But I've seen God move on my behalf—in me, through me, and for me—so many times. And I know that it's in these moments that I am partnering with God to shape the lives and hearts of my children into the people He created them to be.
You see, He knows them better than I do. God made them for a purpose. He knows their gifts because He gave them those unique gifts and talents. He knows that certain music, TV shows, and activities might affect them differently than they affect another child. He knows all about them (see Psalm 139), and He is their Heavenly Father. So we would be wise to ask Him first how we should parent these little gifts He has given us in order to honor Him and raise them in the right way. How can we know the right way if we do not ask? Here's what I want to encourage you with today: Your kids are God's first. They have value, so let them know it by being present. You cannot help them become who God made them to be without God's help. This also means you can't make them become who you want them to be. It doesn't work like that.
Lastly, it is better to fail at trying than not to try at all. Give parenting your best. Lean into God the most. There is no perfect parent. But there can be a godly parent—with God's help. Oh, and don't forget to apologize. Every time. Tell your kids, "I will sometimes fail you, but God will never fail you." Use every mistake and every blessing to reveal how loved they are and how much God loves them.
The enemy is working overtime. Don't let him through your doors.
Love,
Jessica